emae`s world.

nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off, avoid the bullshit, take chances, and never have regrets. because at one point, everything you did was exactly what you wanted.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Confused.

WTF is happening? The other day I was absofreakinlutely happy, and now I feel the exact opposite. I feel like i'm stuck inside this bottle, floating on a lake far far away, with no one to save me.
*smallville clip enters..* somebody saaaaaaave meeeee..

Helpless. That's what I am right now. I feel like i'm stuck, not knowing how to move on, and not wanting to (?). I dunno what to do anymore. I feel so confused. It feels like i'm stranded.

Today I went to Walgreens with my grandma. She bought a birthday card for her daughter (--my aunt), and as usual, being with my grandma in a store = 3 hours of waiting. She took her time scanning through the cards as if it was the most regretful thing she was gonna do if she bought an ugly one. Surprisingly though? I wasn't pissed. I actually enjoyed just looking at those cards in the stand. It feels like I wanted to buy one of those cute little cards with a puppy's face on the cover. It was all too cute. :)

Anyway, I was looking through the cards, when this one particular card caught my attention. That was it. I knew it was too familiar. It was the same card someone supposedly gave me about a year ago. I felt tears in my eyes and I literally had to RUN like a lunatic, out of the store to catch some air. As dramatic as it sounds, it felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't know what to do, I went blank.

When we got home, I hurriedly went inside my room, locked myself up, and cried some more. Everything started to rush in. I thought I was over this?

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Destiny, or no?

I should be sleeping right now, but due to countless thoughts entering my head at the moment, it got me wondering about many things. I just had to get up, face my computer, and well... blog about it.

As I was watching "Sana Maulit Muli" (--a drama show aired on TFC) early on today, I was just blabbing and looking for things to laugh about (trust me, I usually find a lot). Honestly, I don't like the show. It bugs me how the two lead stars cannot act to save their lives. But anyway, I wasn't really paying attention to it because my mom was in the room and she was talking about work.. blah blah.. about chismis.. blah blah.. and all that jazz. But then, this scene that came up with Gerald (the lead "actor") and that guy "Mr. Destiny" got me interested. On that scene, the guy was getting mad at Gerald for trying to change how the way things are. I mean... LIFE. Gerald, knowing that Kim (--the lead "actress") would eventually die in the end, tried to change everything to prevent Kim from dying.

This is where my question comes up...
Can you really change your destiny? Can you really prevent something from happening? Or.. actually.. does "destiny" even exist? Like, OUR life, do we really control our life and decide how the things are going to turn out? Or is it already planned "up there"?

No one knows the answers to these questions. All of these are gonna remain un-answered. But one things for sure, I thought.. whether your life is planned out or not, just make the best out of it. Make the best out of EVERY day. People say these things too often that we don't even try to reflect and think about what it REALLY means. So as for me, I am going to make the best out of what I have right now. That way, even if I die tomorrow.. or the next day.. or the day after that.., at least I can say that I took chances, and that my life was exactly how I wanted it to be.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Goodbye Math..

Second semester started today. It was fun and weird at the same time. A lot of new students were added to my first period class, and it was funny because they had those "get me outta here" and "i hate this, wtf?" looks on their faces. Hahaha I was happy cause I wasn't transferred. Yay! So anyway, guess what? This semester, from having 7 classes, now I only have 5!! And two of em are electives so it'll be really easy. And best part? NO. more. MATH.!! Hahaha omg!! I think this is the best day of my life. Seriously.
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When I got out of class today, I checked my phone right away (which is what I usually do) and there was two messages waiting for me to read. It was from Charish, and she was having a problem about something and she was really worried and she said she needed to talk to me. So I was about to call her back, then I saw those messages were from last night!! Turned out I fell asleep and I didn't get to check my phone til after school today. So Charish, just wanna say i'm really sorry I wasn't able to call when you needed to talk to me. Sorrryyy. I just needed to let it out cause I was feeling guilty since this noon. Love yah betch. I'll make it up to you. (Mirich thing? lol.)

Oohhh and another thing!! I bought a new keyboard cause my old one was kinda fucked up already. Hahaha so i'm using this new one right now while typing this.. and this.. and this.. and yea you get the point. Lol. I love ittt!! Hahaha seriously. Ang babaw ko. It's just that this new keyboard doesn't make any noise. And that helps me a lot, trust me. My old keyboard usually goes *plak plak plak* with every word I type on it. You know what I mean? It was THAT fucked up. Hahaha and this new one really helps cause it doesn't make any sound when I type on it. No sound whatsoever. nada sound (or however you say "sound" in spanish). =D Hahaha you're probably thinking "WTF? she's obsessed with her keyboard!!" but seriously?... nevermind. haha

Monday, January 22, 2007

Chaos.

Today was definitely NOT one of those days. The usual talking-to-Charish-onthephone-til-forever is still there, but a lot has been happening. The best way to describe this day is "stressful". Mostly from school, but with other things too. Gaaahh, I needa switch the topic before I go crazy here.
Err.. I'm back to learning to play my guitar again. =) I got pretty tired of it after a week when i first bought it, but now i'm back to being obsessed with it. Haha yay.

Anyway, I would like to acknowledge Charish for making her own blog because I forced her to. Hahaha. And also niki (that one girl who's addicted to chocolate. Hahaha niks!) for being my numero uno linko. lol there.

Hmmm.. so what else? Oh uhm.. did I mention I ate pizza the whole day? Hahaha.
Seriously though, I was reading a discussion board a while ago and I found their topic rather interesting. It talks about the "requirements" before going to bed. Like how you should be positioned and all that stuff. I wanted to post but uhhh.. I dunno.. I didn't feel like it. Hahaha so i'll just post it here..

1. The light needs to be turned off. It has to be completely dark with just a little bit of light coming from my window.
2. Blanket needs to be able to cover my feet. (I get little thoughts in my head about "monsters" trying to grab my feet once in a while. Haha i'm such a little kid, I know.)
3. TV has to be turned on, but on timer for 2 hours... or 3. lol
4. My closet and the door to my bathroom HAS to be closed. (or else i'm going to freak out.)

Hmmm.. and I guess that's it. =) And speaking of sleep. I needa get somuh those. There's school tomorrow.. so Yeap, gotta go. Ciao.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Finally.

Whew. First post.